place of worship

i.

in my dreams there is a man shaped
like you made out         of a lifetime
daylight collection preserved
on my retina.             a supernova of images



i have felt pleasure             and disdain
in seeing, all          imprinted on your glamorized
body. homemade altars, the underwater
of a baptist’s pool, the dawn convalescing



after an endless night of envisioning
you,         an infinite
and versatile form. i find everything
in you;            i find you in everything.

ii.

Original lyrics — Sun Bleached Flies by Ethel Cain

Sun bleached flies sitting in the windowsill / Waiting for the day they escape / They talk all about that money and how their babies are always changing while they're breathing in the poison of the paint / What I wouldn't give to be in Church this Sunday / Listening to the choir, so heartfelt, all singing / God loves you, but not enough to save you / So, baby girl, good luck taking care of yourself / So I said fine, 'cause that's how my daddy raised me / If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard / But in the end, if I bend under the weight that they gave me / Then this heart would break and fall as twice as far / We all know how it goes / The more it hurts, the less it shows / But I still feel like they all know, and that's why I can never go back home / And I spend my life watching it go by from the sidelines / And God, I've tried, but I think it's about time I put up a fight / But I don't mind 'cause that's how my daddy raised me  / If they strike once then you just hit 'em twice as hard / But I always knew that in the end no one was coming to save me / So I just prayed and I keep praying and praying and praying / If it's meant to be then it will be / So I met Him there and told him I believe / Singing if it's meant to be then it will be / I forgive it all as it comes back to me / If it's meant to be then it will be / So I met him there and told Him I believe / Singing if it's meant to be then it'll be / I forgive it all as it comes back to me / If it's meant to be then it'll be / So I met him there and told him I believe / Singing if it's meant to be then it will be / I forgive it all as it comes back to me / I'm still praying for that house in Nebraska / By the highway, out on the edge of town / Dancing with the windows open / I can't let go when something's broken / It's all I know and it's all I want now

iii.


Knelt against the chancel’s edge,

i let Your presence wash over

my bare skin. The beams, stained

as they pass through the windows,

bathe me in a kaleidoscope fashioned

out of hues You hand-selected:

lavenders navies magentas and gold—

gold so vibrant the conquerors would send

armies to retrieve me. i am Yours, my half-

Man, half-God. Won’t You take me

wherever faith leads, or will You

desert me right here, at your feet?